I really love what you write here. I have been in churches, and temples, where the feeling of aliveness and the sacred is really there, and it's so beautiful to experience. I've also been in churches that are more like tourist attractions. And yes, the message of Yeshua was one of love. That's why he turned over the furniture in the temple and said we should beware of theologians. He was challenging to all the power structures not because he wanted to overtake them, but because the purity of his presence exposed what they didn't want to notice in themselves and 'just how things are.' His message was one of love, and he never asked anyone to die for him, or to die at all, but to simply notice what interfered with their inability to love. It is our own resistance to the call of spirit that elicits patterns of disease, and our ignorance that causes us not to notice. If the churches had been working on the message of Yeshua we would not have prison systems like ours, or wars like ours, or tax systems like ours, or any of those distortions. We would recognize the words of holy beings throughout time who have spoken to what is sacred, responded to what is sacred, moved towards what is sacred. Everything else is distortion asking to be healed. Thank you for writing such wonderful words so clearly.
Girl. It's like you have lived my life! Born and raised "non-denominational/spirit-filled". The message always sat wrong in my spirit, ESPECIALLY when I started studying the words from their original language. Went to Rhema Bible Training Center in Oklahoma right out of high school, even though I had a 3.89 GPA with STACKS of college letters waiting for me. I could have EXCXELLED as a scholar. Thought I was going to be a youth pastor, got burned by the church (big surprise), and slowly started deconstructing (even though I didn't know that term until 2024) at age 24 in 2004. Had kids, married their dad, also watched Zeitgeist and was both scared to death and felt wildly validated, buried my dad in 2014. His death was the turning point for my spirit. It broke my spirit wide open and my spiritual/deconstruction journey accelerated. I got my hands on Eben Alexander and Anita Moorjani's stories and for the first time EVER, it ALL sat well with my soul. Brick by brick, I broke down my beliefs. It was scary and dark and barren and vulnerable. And I did it in silence. I felt fear creep up all the time from my old beliefs, but kept pushing forward, finally TRULY following my heart. Starting to realize that I'm not bad, my emotions are not deceitful but are rather signposts to listen to: not ignore. Because, as you said (as YESHUA said), "the Kingdom is inside ME." I can trust ME. Here I am now, age 45, feeling so much freedom and love and joy that I was always seeking, but yet always felt so short of grasping.
Thank you for sharing your story. It takes courage. The journey of deconstruction can make your whole world change. It puts unnecessary gaps between old relationships. It causes people from your past to see you as "backsliding", "deceived", and "lost". But it's time to integrate. From full-swing evangelical to wondering if Jesus was even real to now the truth oh Yeshua's teachings and life making sense OUTSIDE of the box that Western Christianity has placed it into. This is freedom.
Keep it up. More people need this circle of community. I think there's a lot of us peeking out from behind closed doors, waiting to find those who share in our journeys and discoveries ❤️
I really love what you write here. I have been in churches, and temples, where the feeling of aliveness and the sacred is really there, and it's so beautiful to experience. I've also been in churches that are more like tourist attractions. And yes, the message of Yeshua was one of love. That's why he turned over the furniture in the temple and said we should beware of theologians. He was challenging to all the power structures not because he wanted to overtake them, but because the purity of his presence exposed what they didn't want to notice in themselves and 'just how things are.' His message was one of love, and he never asked anyone to die for him, or to die at all, but to simply notice what interfered with their inability to love. It is our own resistance to the call of spirit that elicits patterns of disease, and our ignorance that causes us not to notice. If the churches had been working on the message of Yeshua we would not have prison systems like ours, or wars like ours, or tax systems like ours, or any of those distortions. We would recognize the words of holy beings throughout time who have spoken to what is sacred, responded to what is sacred, moved towards what is sacred. Everything else is distortion asking to be healed. Thank you for writing such wonderful words so clearly.
Beautifully written comment! Thank you. It's wild to consider how backwards our society is. Nothing has changed in all these years.
Girl. It's like you have lived my life! Born and raised "non-denominational/spirit-filled". The message always sat wrong in my spirit, ESPECIALLY when I started studying the words from their original language. Went to Rhema Bible Training Center in Oklahoma right out of high school, even though I had a 3.89 GPA with STACKS of college letters waiting for me. I could have EXCXELLED as a scholar. Thought I was going to be a youth pastor, got burned by the church (big surprise), and slowly started deconstructing (even though I didn't know that term until 2024) at age 24 in 2004. Had kids, married their dad, also watched Zeitgeist and was both scared to death and felt wildly validated, buried my dad in 2014. His death was the turning point for my spirit. It broke my spirit wide open and my spiritual/deconstruction journey accelerated. I got my hands on Eben Alexander and Anita Moorjani's stories and for the first time EVER, it ALL sat well with my soul. Brick by brick, I broke down my beliefs. It was scary and dark and barren and vulnerable. And I did it in silence. I felt fear creep up all the time from my old beliefs, but kept pushing forward, finally TRULY following my heart. Starting to realize that I'm not bad, my emotions are not deceitful but are rather signposts to listen to: not ignore. Because, as you said (as YESHUA said), "the Kingdom is inside ME." I can trust ME. Here I am now, age 45, feeling so much freedom and love and joy that I was always seeking, but yet always felt so short of grasping.
Thank you for sharing your story. It takes courage. The journey of deconstruction can make your whole world change. It puts unnecessary gaps between old relationships. It causes people from your past to see you as "backsliding", "deceived", and "lost". But it's time to integrate. From full-swing evangelical to wondering if Jesus was even real to now the truth oh Yeshua's teachings and life making sense OUTSIDE of the box that Western Christianity has placed it into. This is freedom.
Keep it up. More people need this circle of community. I think there's a lot of us peeking out from behind closed doors, waiting to find those who share in our journeys and discoveries ❤️
https://youtu.be/OsccUg4TDd8?feature=shared
What happened dear Caitlin? Where did it hurt? When was it lost? Couldn't help to say a word.. If nobody would...i sensed a need to share..
Yeshua say: ".. I will never leave you not forsake you.." Heb 3
".. will neither slumber nor sleep" psa 121
"he knows..." psa 139
"he's got plans 4u.." jer 29
"come home.." John 14
M. B. - M'sia
Taking a lot of comfort from your words. Similar background and on a journey. Thanks