How to start unlearning everything you were taught about God
I get messages all the time that say, “I want to start deconstructing, but I don’t even know where to begin.”
I get it. When you first start questioning things you were taught to never question, it can feel like your whole identity is cracking open. It’s confusing, lonely, and sometimes terrifying. Especially when everything you thought was “holy” starts to feel like it was just another layer of control.
My own journey didn’t start as a rebellion. It started as survival. I was exhausted, burned out, and terrified I was going to hell just for having doubts. I did everything I was told to do (prayed harder, studied more, obeyed completely) and still felt empty. That’s when I started asking real questions.
Questions like:
What if I’m not broken?
What if God isn’t angry?
What if everything I was taught about sin and suffering was about control, not love?
That’s when everything began to shift.
When you start pulling on one thread, the whole tapestry of belief begins to unravel. At first, it feels like destruction. But it’s not. It’s rebuilding. It’s learning how to trust your own inner compass again.
You don’t have to do it perfectly. You don’t even have to know where it will lead. Deconstruction isn’t about finding a new belief system to replace the old one. It’s about discovering what’s true for you beneath all the noise.
So if you’re at the start of your own unlearning, here are a few gentle ways to begin:
Ask your own questions, even if they scare you. Curiosity is not sin. It’s sacred.
Read things you were told not to. There’s wisdom in the forbidden.
Listen more than you defend. You don’t have to win arguments, you’re exploring.
Notice how your body feels when you hear truth. It’s usually calm, peaceful, and expansive.
Find community. People who aren’t afraid to have honest conversations will help you stay grounded when everything feels uncertain.
For me, this journey led far beyond religion. It opened up my health, my relationships, my work, and my sense of freedom. When you wake up in one area of your life, you start waking up in all of them.
That’s why I created Curated Heresy. A collection of the books, podcasts, and resources that helped me begin. It’s not about telling you what to believe. It’s about giving you starting points to think, feel, and explore for yourself.
If you’re ready to start your own journey, you can grab it here.
Just remember: questioning isn’t betrayal. It’s how you find truth.